So much paperwork, so many decisions

We did continue to investigate our options, but by the end of that same day in November, we were quite confident that we would use adoption as our preferred method for expanding our family. I sent out requests for information from adoption agencies via the web. The information came and there were so many decisions. A big agency? A less expensive agency? An agency with more experience with one country or another? An agency that places a lot of children? We quickly chose an agency and attended an orientation.

At the orientation we received the "application packet". We began filling it out as quickly as possible and sent it off to the agency. They wanted to know what country we would prefer to work with, how old we wanted the child to be and what gender we wanted (for those of you who don't know, most people want to adopt girls, if you want a girl, you can expect to wait longer). Until the day we had to put it in writing, we said a girl, under 6 months... on that day we filled out the paperwork and indicated we would take a boy or girl up to 18 months. I don't know what was different at that moment, but that was what we put on paper.

Then we were required to attend the Pre-Adoption Class (PAC). At the PAC class we received another packet of papers we were required to spill our heart and soul, family story and life history onto paper, it was called a "Self-Study". Then we had to predict how we would handle a variety of situations with our potential transcultural child, from India, or Ethiopia, or some other country not yet decided. For some, telling your life story and sending it off to a stranger may seem incredibly scary, for me, it was like another Psychology Paper from my many classes in the field. The big difference, the result is not a letter grade, the stakes are much higher.

We pondered the Self Study and attended the various workshops offered during the two day PAC class. We learned from people who were adopted, who had adopted, and we discussed those families who make an adoption plan for their children. We watched videos of children in orphanages and in foster homes. We saw infants and toddlers and young children all waiting for their "forever family". Here's where it gets amazing:

We watched those toddlers and we fell in love with them, those young children who we might get to parent. As the mother of two biological children, children who grew in my body for 40 weeks before emerging as a tiny package and gift from God, I thought that is how all children came. I thought all families started with tiny babies, but you know, they don't.

There isn't any reason we wouldn't fall totally and completely in love with a 2, 3, or 4-year-old child. I did fall in love, I loved, loved, loved those children in the videos and my heart had new eyes.

As we completed that "Self Study" they asked again for us to describe the child we hoped for. This time we said a child age 0-4, and that we are open to a sibling group under age 4. Our application was submitted to the Ethiopian program for a child or sibling group, no gender preferred for a child or children under age 4.