The necessity of breathing

I got an e-mail from Sister Goddess:
Everyday I read your blog-obsessed for details. I can't imagine how you are holding up!!! I can't wait til that boy is in your arms:) We should try to plan for a girls night out before your schedule gets crazier. How much time will you take off when you go to get Tamene? I assume you will take some time after also. Will he be in daycare when you return to work? So many questions--we should just get together!

Apparently I have overlooked answering some of the basic questions.

Q: How much time will you take off when you go to get Tamene
A: We are in Ethiopia from Thursday to Thursday, including travel time we will be gone about 10 days.
Q: How much time will you take off after Tamene is home?
A: I have to my work to prepare for 12 weeks. Obviously this will depend on Tamene's needs. I am keeping an open mind about more time or less time depending on how he is adjusting. The reason I might need less time, is if he has trouble with the transition from a full care center to a quiet house (Naven & Angelisa will be back in school). He will be 3 so he may enjoy some 1/2 days at a daycare with other kids. I am not planning for longer or shorter, just keeping an open mind about what might happen.
Q: Will he be in daycare when you return to work?
A: Yes, I do plan to return to work full time. He will be in daycare. I am hoping he will be able to go to the daycare program that is sponsored by my employer. But there are places closer to home that I am considering too.

How am I holding up? I am holding up just fine in my own opinion. I hate this wait, I hate that my little boy is there and I am here. Some of you may have seen a post that I had on Saturday. But I did pull it on Monday, just concerned about privacy. Those of you who didn't see it, I got a bit of an update on our little man, and I expect to get more news in the next day or two. All of it is good news. The funny part was that I took the time to make a note that I hadn't received any new info in 14 days, and then I had something. Hanging on to the littlest pieces of information. Applying it to everything else I have already learned about him. Drawing conclusions, making predictions, preparing myself. No different than wondering what the two children who grew in my belly would look like or be like when they arrived. I wonder the same for the little man growing in my heart!

As I mentioned, I am holding up fine in my own opinion. Others may have another opinion. My obsession with lists, information, and internet research may appear over the top. But in my own mind it keeps me focused on something. I feel forward movement, even though it may only be side-ways movement. Some motion is better than no motion, or at least that's the way I feel about it.

I did decide last night that the series of events that are happening in my life right now feel a little like they are running into each other with no time to breathe (think of contractions in labor). I told Trent that when Tamene gets home, we need to take some time to breathe and rejuvenate so we can prepare for whatever life's next big event is for us. I am doing ok, I am breathing through all this. I know that the end justifies the means. But a big cleansing breath feels long overdue.

Naven's birthday is tomorrow. I remember the day he was born. I went to my clinic to see if there was anything we could do to get labor started. I wanted that baby out (again - loved pregnancy - just no patience, I wanted to meet him!!). A little maneuvering by my smart healthcare professional started labor later that morning. Still many hours passed before Naven would join us in our first breath together. The first breath of life is amazing.