Home Alone

Day one, home alone with Tamene. Only a couple hours into it, but he is napping so I thought I would share a few thoughts.

He and I still don't have a grip on the sleep schedule. He was up at some odd hour, not even sure... 2 or 3 am. He did go to bed around 7. We went to the store and he fell asleep on the way home. We knew the right thing was to wake him back up for an hour or so, but we were too tired I told Trent I would rather let him sleep then and suffer the consequences of an early rise.

This morning when Trent got up with Angelisa and Naven, I laid back down for a little more rest while he watch Tamene and then a couple hours later laid Tamene down and rested again. I have a horrible head cold/respiratory cold of some kind and it's difficult to sleep well. I also have a cold sore that popped up this morning, so I feel kind of miserable.

If there are any fellow adopters out there still reading this blog, I have a recommendation for you about returning from travel. Have your mother make chicken soup. It's the only thing I have wanted to eat since arriving home. (All the cravings were covered in the DC airport). It has to be the soup your mom makes. So you might even need your mother and mother-in-law to make a batch so each of you has exactly what you need. My mom made a huge pot and I am currently eating the last bowl. Not sure what I will eat now.

So Tamene and I went to the bus stop to see Trent and the kids off for the day. We want him to see that we leave, and then come home. Everyone comes back. The crisis, of course, was that he wanted to ride on the bus. He cried... and cried. But he did stop once we were back in the house. I can't wait to see how excited he is when the kids come home.

The trip to Ethiopia was very emotional and I hesitate to try to put it into words, there are no words that can do it justice. It was amazing. I thought I might start with a few comments about the plane ride home, just to test the waters for my soul.

Jamie held Tamene as we flew from Addis to Rome. Trent and I slept, or passed out... something like that. I believe we were all pretty awake from Rome to DC. We each spent time walking with Tamene, or playing, or helping him to stop crying. He did well considering all the circumstances. I think Jamie changed most of the diapers and Trent and I did most of the walking with him. Though Jamie had to stand for long periods of time trying to get him to sleep.

At one point during the flight an Ethiopian man approached Jamie and the crying/tantruming Tamene. He took Tamene from her. This seemed very common, that if a child was upset or the parent seemed to have trouble, someone would just come to assist. We found this throughout our trip. Many of the Ethiopian men or women would come to hold Tamene or distract him, in any way they could help. This is so different from America, don't most of us roll our eyes and wonder why the parent can't get their kid to behave? In any case the man calmed him down and then Jamie explained that Trent and I (in the seat behind her) were the parents. He came to us with Tamene now calm. He thanked us for our help to his county and for taking one of their children. He said, "This is a wonderful thing that you do. Thank you."

Here in the States it has been a struggle when people say this is a good thing that we are doing, or how "honorable" it is. Trent and I, for many selfish reasons, wanted to grow our family. We really never considered, in our decision making, that this was about helping someone else. It is true that it is, but here in America, inside the adoption circle, it is a bit frowned upon to take in a child because you want to help or save a child. The best reason (again in the culture of adoption in the US) is often only because of the selfish reason of wanting to parent. I am not going to go into the philosophy of my thoughts on all of this. But let me tell you how humbling it is when you realize that indeed you have done something that makes you look as if a "hero" to another human. This man was clearly moved and appreciative of our actions to help his country and their children. I feel no different myself, I still recognize our reasons for adopting, but feel that there is so much more to this adoption journey than to simply parent a child. I too, have been adopted, by Ethiopia and feel a part of the people.

I recall another adoptive parent explaining her homesick feeling for Ethiopia and wanting to return. Though I am incredibly happy and appreciative to be home, there are pieces of Ethiopia that I miss, and those reasons sometimes make me sad that we took Tamene from such a beautiful and amazing place. I hope to raise him to love America and Ethiopia for all the great qualities both countries have to offer. The day before we were to leave, I did cry in thinking about the fact that we were taking him out of Africa. May our journey continue to be blessed by God, as this is not something I feel I would have the power to do on my own, but only through a divine plan.