Before I Knew You

Tamene,
I want to write you a letter too, as many others who are waiting for you have. Though I feel as though I know you, here is my "Before I Knew You" letter.

We decided to investigate the adoption process last year. After two years of talking about adding another child to our family, we finally realized it was time. There were a few options for us on how to expand our family. Our first (and best) choice was to grow our family through adoption.

Once we decided we were ready, we began working with an agency and decided that we would like to bring home a child from Ethiopia. There were a lot of meetings and paperwork required. We completed the paperwork as quickly as we possibly could. We wanted to find you and bring you home as quickly as possible. I didn't know who "you" were, but I knew I was moments away from meeting my youngest son, and it couldn't happen fast enough.

After the designated paperwork was completed we were on to "the wait". For most families who wanted to adopt an infant, this wait was 6-9 months. For us, for you... 6 weeks. Six weeks until we saw the first pictures of our beautiful little boy. Daddy knew from the first second he saw you that you were our little boy (Daddy got to see your pictures first!).

Today is four months, one week, and one day since we first saw your picture (and 63 blogs later). I am so incredibly excited to meet you. We have heard that you are doing very well and being cared for by the nannies who love you so much. For me, it is helpful to know that you are well cared for and loved, but I just want to have you here in my arms.

There are many, many, twists, turns and events that happened in our lives and in the life of you and your birth mother that brought us all to this place. We have all experienced sadness and joy. We all believe that we are doing what is best for you and we hope that you will feel the true love that each of us holds for you.

I have learned a lot on this journey, and I am sure I have a lot more to learn still. I hope I never stop learning, or think that I have learned enough. I hope to continue to learn from life, and love and all of my children. This particular journey has opened my eyes to many of my strengths and weaknesses. Some have improved, some have gotten worse, but overall I am a much better person for this experience and the experience of motherhood. I have learned that I have amazing friends and family. The outpouring of support is something I could not have anticipated nor would I expect. Our family has not grown just by one, by adding you little Tamene, but by adding so many new people into our new family. People who were strangers only weeks ago, are now close friends. Close friends have become brothers and sisters, and for you, aunts and uncles. And family has become more meaningful than ever. Many family members who have allowed me to see their soul of support and love for you and our whole family. Tamene, it is you and your spirit who have brought all of this love, before we knew you.

I worry too. I worry about this time where you are being an independent little man, facing the world on your own. I know the nannies love you and take care of you, but I know that you must also care for yourself. I am proud of you for doing such a great job, and I have many stories that I have heard about how things are going even though you are a world away. I know that you are brave, and you are taking care of yourself as well as bringing joy to those who meet you!

I am excited to bring you home, and finally have you here. Many times we call for you with your brother and sister, even though you are not here. "Angelisa, Naven, Tamene! Time to wake up!"."Mom, kiss Tamene when you tuck us in." "Trent, where is Tamene? I thought you were watching him in this store." "Naven and Tamene, time to eat!" We feel as though you are here and part of our family, just that you are away and we will bring you home soon. I look forward to you and your brother and sister bonding and settling in with each other's personalities.

Tamene, I hope that you will always know how many people love you and care for you and how many people want you to have the very best. I hope you always have joy and a desire for knowledge. I hope you become everything that you are to become, and want to become, and more. As I am finding myself and figuring out who I am in life, I hope too that you will find yourself in life and be happy to find the Tamene in you and love him more than anything.

For our whole family I hope for closeness and love and compassion for each other. I hope that you and your brother and sister will find strengths in each other and learn to depend on one another. I wish the world for all of you.

I am waiting for you now and wondering what you will be like. A smart little boy with a big smiles and lots of love and entertainment for everyone. I look forward to having you explore this whole new world and I hope that you will enjoy it. I think you will be resilient and you will find everything you need in this world and more, I think it will come to you in abundance, as it has come to me. I think you will have good days and bad days, but you will know that we are all here to support you and I think you will lean on that as you grow older. I know you will experience pain, as we all do, I believe you will learn from the pain and use it to make yourself a better person. I believe you will enjoy and experience life very differently than most, and it will be beautiful and inspiring to others.

We are all waiting, waiting, waiting for you. What seems like such a long wait today, will be a blink in time once we hold you in our arms. There are so many people who are waiting to meet you, friends, and family and friends who have become family. We all share in the frustration of the wait and the excitement of bringing you home.

It feels as though I have known you for so long already, it feels as if I am just waiting for your return, and not a first meeting. I wonder what you will think when you meet us for the first, and second, and third time.

Before we knew you, we loved you. Before I knew you, I loved you.

Sending hugs and kisses through time and space to you on this afternoon in Addis Ababa,

Love your momma

Blogging in the family

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http://bigsissyblog.blogspot.com/


(The author is Tamene's Big Sissy!)

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What day is it in your world?

Since we have received the birth certificate there have been questions about Tamene's birthday. A number of people have asked if we KNOW his birthday or if it a general guess. Below is information about the Ethiopian calendar. On our calendar (US/Gregorian) his birthday is 10/11/05 (Every October 11 we will celebrate his birthday). According to his birth certificate his Ethiopian birthday (Ethiopian calendar) is 2/1/1998 - this date translates to our calendar as 10/11/05. We can guess that there wasn't a doctor there to notarize the date and time of his birth, but these children's birth mothers are generally able to accurately report the date of birth of their child.

The current year according to the Ethiopian calendar is 2000. There were millennium celebrations when the new year began in Ethiopia at 12 midnight Ethiopian Time on September 12, 2007 of the Gregorian calendar. The year 2001 will begin on September 11, 2008 of the Gregorian calendar.

The Ethiopian calendar is much more similar to the Egyptian Coptic calendar having a year of 13 months, 365 days and 366 days in a leap year (every fourth year) and it is much influenced by the Ethiopian Orthodox Tewahedo Church, which follows its ancient calendar rules and beliefs. The Ethiopian calendar is always seven years and eight months behind the Gregorian (Western) and Eastern Orthodox Church calendars during September and December and eight years and four months behind during January and August. Therefore, the Ethiopians will celebrate the new millennium on September 1, 2000 Ethiopian calendar (September 12, 2007 Gregorian calendar).


Alright - trivia lesson out of the way. What's next?

I am definitely back at the blogging and the lists. Trying to make arrangements for many of the details about travel. When you are pregnant, you just drop your kids of with whatever friend or family is on the way to the hospital and then retrieve them 1-2 days later. The hubby can run home and let out the dogs while you sleep. Worst case scenario the kids miss two days of school - maybe three. This process is a little more complicated. Finding a place for the kids, and making sure they get to school everyday (I don't think it is in the best interest of my 1st grader to miss more than one day of school) is priority one. Priority two: the pets. Someone has to watch them, someone has to make sure they get their basic needs met for two weeks. From there is it issues of mowing the lawn, checking the mail. A different kind of back up is required when you are actually out of the country and potentially not reachable by phone...

Sorry to cut off the random thoughts - but I am off to test drive a mini van (Sister in Love, ZIP IT!!)

How many medical professionals does it take to give Kamille a shot?

I have updated and predicted some of our milestones - you will find them on the right hand side of the page as you scroll down.


Our flight is booked and looks like this:
Minneapolis to Washington DC
DC to Rome
Rome to Addis Ababa (Ethiopia)
We will leave Minneapolis on September 24 and arrive back on October 3.

Other updates:
My favorite ladies from Maple Grove had a shower for me last week. It was great to see all my friends and to get to spend time together. Something to take my focus off the waiting. Everyone was so kind and generous, and so excited for me. I am blessed to have worked with such a great group of people.

I did have to get another couple of shots before I was able to head on over to the par-tay. So here is how that went:
I got a call from a provider who knows my fear of needles about 12:30 on Wednesday, announcing that I am scheduled for my vaccinations at 2:00 that day. Ahhhh, my heart starts racing, I hate that. 2:00, I check in for my appointment but not before recruiting a former co-worker to "hold my hand". So nurse #1 goes to find me a nurse/medical assistant who is willing to actually poke me, knowing I am suck a freak. I request the same one who saw me go down in the last round of injections. Apparently she is happy to try again (odd). This time I am scheduled for a procedure room with a table that I am required to lay on. They bring me an ice pack to rest on my neck. I ask for gum (seems like a reasonable medical request to me). I am laying down, on my pillow, with my ice pack, chewing my gum and be distracted by two other health care professionals while the third is drawing up the injections. The "shooter" the one who is actually going to be doing the poking turns and says "Is there any chance you are pregnant?". Well there isn't really, however, some recent dizzy spells and near fainting might indicate pregnancy... and stranger things have happened - three people in the last 2 days have asked if I am pregnant. OK, OK, give me the stupid test. Back up off the table, handed a cup and a wipe and directed to fill it. 5 and 1/2 minutes later we have confirmed that I am NOT pregnant - not a surprise by any means, but a relief none-the-less. Back to the exam table in the procedure room, feet up, pillow adjusted, ice pack on... wait the gum, now I am done with the gum - can I spit it out? Gum out. One patient and three medical professionals in the room. Two to talk to me and distract me, and one to do the "shooting". Needles are out, pictures of Tamene are out to distract me. WAIT... wait, wait... "You remember I don't like band-aids right? Don't put a band-aid on when you are done." YES - we know, lay down!~ Back to the photos and questions about travel - the POKE... now I am quiet, no words and just breathing. "Hey, Kamille, are you ok?" "mmm hmmm, just don't make me laugh, I will pass out", I whisper". "Are you sure you are ok?" I reply, "shhhhh mmmm hhhhmmm" Ok, I open my eyes, the faintness passes and I am ready to go. NOPE, no, now there is some protocol where they have to time how long I sit there before I am allowed to leave. 3-4 medical professionals and 50 minutes later, my shots are finally complete. Now I have all my shots, now I am all set. If I stay healthy and can avoid the need for labs, and get the nasal flu vaccinations I should easily be able to avoid needles for 18-24 months!

More important - Tamene - he is doing great. Putting on weight and growing taller - though I haven't determined if the height is due to the additional hair or actual bone growth... he has so much hair already!!! We have been hearing rumblings through the grapevine about an adorable little boy at the care center who greets all the parents and is full of energy and everyone thinks he is adorable. Something about a smile that lights up the room. Several people believe this little bundle is the one that belongs to me. You all know me. Would any of you have expected that I would get the "quiet one"? No way - you know I have the rambunctious child who is precocious and has a ton of energy. Any babysitting volunteers?

I am back on for making lists... excuse me while I obesses. I'll be back soon!

Welcome to the roller coaster ride!

We went to the State Fair today, but I couldn't handle any rides, the adoption process is enough of a roller coaster for me!

Here I am on Friday night. We are back to the Sept 25 travel date. I e-mailed many folks yesterday informing them that we would travel in October. I am not e-mailing them all to tell them different. Right here is where the updates are.

If you want e-mail updates in the future, or the password when this blog becomes password protected, you can still submit your e-mail address:

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The current plan is to arrive in Ethiopia on September 25 (yes in 2008). Mark it on the calendar.

I'll catch up on my blogging over the weekend and let you all know what has been happening.

I'm BACK!!

Why am I back and blogging?

10. Good bloggers keep their readers posted frequently (bad Kamille, bad Kamille)

9. I have received many e-mails and phone calls with people stressed, waiting for a new post (hello I have been waiting for a birth certificate, I know what the wait is like)

8. If one more person says "Do you know anything new?" I am going to scream at them (inside joke for JB. I am actually glad people ask)

7. I need time on the computer to find out if there are bunnies in Ethiopia (JB & McSturm)

6. According to Soul Sister, I have fallen off the wagon by making making templates for future lists anyway.

5. I have fallen "off the wagon" by posting a poll on this blog anyway (more of you e-mailed me to complain about my failure to blog, than who actually voted).

4. I have airline tickets purchased! Thought you might want to know.

3. I have a confirmed travel date of Oct 2 (see #3), also thought you might want to know.

2. I have a birth certificate. Not just any birth certificate, a birth certificate that indicates I am the mother of Tamene.


1. I am going to Ethiopia.

I have a birth certificate!!!

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