Would you let the pregnant lady use the bathroom first?

For those of you left hanging - no we did not buy the mini-van. It sold ten minutes before we were scheduled to test drive it. We think it is a "sign" that we should not own a mini-van.

Currently I continue to obsess about lists and packing. I worry about every single last detail of this trip. I worry about going, I worry about coming home. I worry about the kids staying home, and the dogs, and the house. "Worry" maybe isn't the right word. It's not that I think something bad will happen. I just feel the need to identify the details related to everything. I plan for worst case scenario for everything... but suspect this whole process will be smooth. Everything has gone very smoothly so far, and I have no evidence that it might change. Personally though, I'd rather have a back up plan for things that is not needed than to find myself in a place of managing something that I didn't expect.

Think of the difference in the scenario between bringing bug spray to Ethiopia and leaving it home. It's a small item. It really is not a matter of life and death. Will it ruin the trip? Will everything fall apart? No. However, preventing some bug bites, making sure I take Malaria medication and the security of knowing it is there, makes it worth packing. What about paper towels. Not a major life changing event if we don't bring it, right? But how nice will it be, when that one bottle of liquid explodes and I don't have to use two days of shirts to clean it up.

I don't know if these statements are an attempt to justify my insanity or just help others understand where I am coming from. I know that I have over thought and over planned everything. In the end, I don't care if NOTHING goes according to plan. All I want is to bring Tamene home and find my family safe and sound, when I arrive in Minnesota. It seems so simple, yet I would feel so much better to know it wasn't just that we "got by" but that everything went smoothly and everyone had everything they needed and that "Thank goodness, we had that one thing'" because it really made the situation easier.

I was just thinking what would happen if we put a pregnant woman on an airplane and sent her to Ethiopia (or any other foreign country for that matter) to give birth. I think many people would be horrified, and if they had the opportunity they would send her with pain meds, and maybe find a nurse who could go along, and they would educate her on nursing and how to handle the pain and what would happen during and after birth. People would try to accommodate her every need. And, don't we let the pregnant woman ahead of us in line in the bathroom? And don't we give up our chair? It's not just about the physical part of being pregnant it's about respect for life and the process. In my opinion the grandma behind me or the 3 year old doing the potty dance probably needs to use the bathroom more than the lady who is 8 month pregnant, but we don't think twice to ask her if she would like to be next.

I gave birth right here in MN, not a foreign country and everyone worried and wondered and made sure I understood the details. Friends and family helped to ensure everything at home was in order and my needs were taken care of. I am having a little trouble seeing how our situation is any different this time, because we are adopting. This doesn't feel any different than being a first time mom. I don't' know anything about international travel, or bringing home a 2 year old or preparing for a 20+ hour flight, or having my children currently living on different continents. I don't know anything about any of it, and it is emotionally draining.

All I want is to be allowed to plan and organize and make myself feel prepared. I want my friends and family to understand that I cannot allow for one or two exceptions to what I want or need, because this process is so incredibly complex that I cannot track exceptions to "the plan" whatever the plan may be.

I do want to extend gratitude to those who have understood and committed to helping us through this time. Thanks to those who are taking off work or arranging personal schedules to help us out. Thanks to those who have said "whatever you need, I can help". Many, many thanks to those who have stood beside me in this journey and who have been compelled to understand the process and support us, and make it easier.