I know what's mine!

Privacy: The state of being free from unsanctioned intrusion: a person's right to privacy. (dictionary.com)

Some parts of our lives are private. They belong to us, and we don't want to share. Sometimes what we want to keep private is a thought or journal, a quote, or a cherished memory. We want to keep it private because it holds a special meaning that cannot be communicated through words. There is emotion attached that simply cannot be described. Maybe it is that place that we go to in our mind in times of stress or rest or that place that exists that you go to in your mind that helps you drift off to sleep. There really isn't a way to describe that place, and if you did you know you could not describe the beauty or meaning in a way that does that place the justice it deserves. It provides you with solace and comfort and you owe gratitude to that place, it is yours and yours alone.

For a child who was adopted, the birth story and adoption story deserve that same honor and observance as those precious personal accounts. There are many details that cannot be understood by others, there are no words that describe the emotion that surrounds the story. There are elements of the story that belong only to the child and are received by the child only as she is ready to hear them. As his parent, we are commissioned to care for and protect that story. I don't know that story yet, I don' know the circumstances that will bring our child into our lives. I imagine protecting this story has many similarities to the way I sheltered my children growing inside my body, I would use the same devotion to protect the birth story of this child as she joins and grows in her new family.

The reserve is not due to secrets or shame. There is no intent to create a mystery. But respect, honor, and dignity are due to the birth family and our child. As she grows she will learn the details of her story and she will decide what to share. She will decide what she wants others to know. He will decide the emotion and intentions that go with the story, it is his story. Until she is ready to take full custody of the story, to take what is hers and hers alone, I will be the guardian of that story.