Out of the mouth of babes

I've been talking at length with Angelisa and Naven about the arrival of a new brother or sister. Or brother and sister, or brother and brother, or sister and sister. Angelisa wants a sister. Naven wants a brother. Big surprise, I know.

And when I say, "talking at length", it's not like a five year-old can really talk at length about much of anything. Though, I've seen Naven attempt to engage my dad in "lengthy" conversations about how to, "get to level two on the Lego game on the DS". The humor in this is that my dad can rarely understand the chatter that comes out of Naven's mouth. Naven speaks a mile a minute about something as exciting as the DS game. I frequently have to grab the phone from Naven and do a speedy interpretation for my dad, and get the phone back to Naven before he feels the need to start the story from the beginning.

Angelisa on the other hand, can definitely be engaged in "lengthy conversation". She answers my endless questions, well until she is done answering questions. I ask her, "What will it be like to have a new family member? What will you want to play? What will you do with your new sister. Do you understand that she or he might be a baby or might be bigger and able to walk? Do you know that this child will be a diferent color than we are? How will you explain having a sibling that looks different than you?" Then I proceed to ask her, "What are the most fun things we do in our family?" "How do you know I love you?" "How will the new sibling know we love her?"... Poor Angelisa, she converses and fires off answers until she must tell me she cannot talk any more.

Both kids answer with such thought and insight, it does explain why I am soooo proud to be their mamma! Most days Naven says he wants to hold the baby and kiss the baby. Other days he says he wants someone who is big enough to ride bikes and play with him. He wants the baby to come soon. "Mom, when will the baby come?" We recently moved bedrooms around in preparation for expanding our family. A queen size bed ended up in "the baby's room". Naven came out and announced with great concern and reprimand that, "A baby can't sleep in that bed, he will fall out and get hurt!" I reassured him that it was only temporary and I reminded him that we still have a crib and that I promised we would find the baby a safe place to sleep. I should mention that several weeks ago Naven announced that the ideal place for the baby to sleep would be in the bathroom... we've come a long way!

Angelisa has been so thoughtful about how it will be different to have a new sibling and how the age will have an impact and how gender and ethnicity will come into play. One night, just a couple weeks after we decided to adopt, we were out eating pizza. There was a 2 year-old little girl throwing a huge tantrum. In an effort to ensure that my children understood that we might not get an infant, but possibly a toddler, I pointed out that we might get a child "like her". Angelisa clarified that our child would be "more brown" than the light skinned girl throwing the tantrum. We found humor in her accurate observation.

Tonight, again, Naven whined wanting to know when the new sibling will come. I told him I didn't know but that I promised to tell him as soon as I had that information. He wanted to name his new brother, "Mom can we name him Brett, with two Ts?" I told him that was a great name, and I was glad he was thinking about these things. Then, I explained that the new brother or sister would probably already have a name. He demanded to know what the name is. I reassured him again, that I would tell him as soon as I knew.

I can't imagine what this experience is like for a 5 year-old or an 8 year-old. I vaguely remember, Christmas, birthdays, or planned travel at these young ages when "this afternoon" seemed like forever to wait for something. And waiting until tomorrow, or next week, may as well have been an eternity. For Naven, I just tell him, "not tomorrow, or the next day, it will be a long time." For Angelisa, I tell her, "Probably not until after you turn 9, but maybe before that" (she turns 9 in 12/2008).