We wait for the birth certificate.
Waiting is hard - I am back at some strange "nesting phase" I am organizing lists and paperwork. Here I attempt to clean up my blog.
As I clean house in "Before I Knew You" ...
I have several blog posts that I started but did not complete. These are here for my own record and not intended to be followed by the reader (though there is a line or two of humor below). The post on donations, should not be considered a solicitation, this was an idea I had, but decided to take another approach - if you are interested in donating feel free to do so.
8/1/08
While we try to teach our children all about life,Our children teach us what life is all about.~Angela Schwindt
There's nothing that can help you understand your beliefs more than trying to explain them to an inquisitive child. ~Frank A. Clark
7/25/08
Looking for a little humor I did a quick search for humor in the news. Seriously you can't make things funnier than real life can make it for you.
Headline:
Angry man shoots lawn mower for not starting.
I thought this was funny, but when I realized this guy was from Wisconsin it some how made it even funnier. Maybe the picture of the "accused" was the icing on the cake. I won't describe this man, but he does seem to bring to mind the same vivid image I get when I listen to Jeff Foxworthy's, "You might be a redneck". "You might be a redneck if you think you're going to show your mower who's Boss by using a shortbarrel shotgun when it decides to 'play dead'."
Headline:
Underwear chicken dare puts man in hospital
An Australian man's dare went horribly wrong when he tried to play chicken with cars on a freeway wearing only his underwear. The 18 year old was critically injured after being hit by a four-wheel drive on a freeway
7/19/08
The fine folks at our agency have informed us that we are legally the parents of little Tamene. We are incredibly excited, it feels surreal.
The next step in the process is that our agency blessed us with another round of waiting and paperwork (feel the love). I am not sure how much more waiting and paperwork I can take before my head pops off.
I am officially the mother of three children.
I prayed for this child, and the LORD has granted me what I asked of him. -1 Samuel 1:27
6/26/08
Word of the Day Thursday June 26, 2008
Today's Word
Cockaigne \kah-KAYN\,
noun:An imaginary land of ease and luxury.
Outside, in the dark, a wobbly patch of life upon the blue snow, the deer perhaps browsed, her soft blob of a nose rapturously sunk in the chilly winter greenery, her modest brain-stem steeped in some dream of a Cockaigne for herbivores.-- John Updike, Toward the End of Time
Everyone was seeking renewal, a golden century, a Cockaigne of the spirit.-- Umberto Eco, Foucault's Pendulum
Cockaigne comes from Middle English cokaygne, from Middle French (pais de) cocaigne "(land of) plenty," ultimately adapted or derived from a word meaning "cake."
6/25/08
To all our family and friends,
We hope that you and your family are well. As you know, we are in the process of adopting a little boy from Ethiopia. We are still waiting for our “court date” (this will get us a better time frame for travel) and we hope that we can travel this summer. The process of choosing Ethiopia as the country we’d adopt our son from was an important decision . Once we decided on Ethiopia, however, we wanted to better understand the country, its culture, its people, and the issues it faces. Ethiopia is a beautiful country rich in history and culture dating back to the dawn of civilization. However, modern Ethiopia suffers from massive poverty and there are an estimated 4.5 million orphans (more than the entire population of Los Angeles, CA). Many of the orphans have lost their parents to the AIDS pandemic and other diseases. Many of the common diseases and illnesses that we come across every day in our country can often be fatal in Ethiopia due to extreme poverty and the lack of basic medical care. Also, due to extreme poverty in Ethiopia, many families decide to relinquish their children because they cannot provide even the most basic needs for them. An Ethiopian child is 30 times more likely to die before his or her 5th birthday than a child born in the west. Half a million children (500,000) under the age of five die each year (one child per minute) in Ethiopia because of illnesses such as malaria and measles, as well as pneumonia, diarrhea, and malnutrition.We are dedicated to providing support to a couple agencies that we feel are doing good work for the children and families of Ethiopia. One agency that we support is African HIV Orphans: Project Embrace (AHOPE) (http://ahopeforchildren.org/) which takes care of children that are orphaned and HIV positive. AHOPE was originally founded to care for HIV+ children until they died of AIDS. In the early days, a child was not accepted into care unless the staff could afford a funeral for the child. Then in September of 2005, lifesaving antiretroviral (ARV) drugs were made available to the children of AHOPE and the children began to thrive, grow, and simply LIVE. It was a miracle of enormous magnitude. As the children grew healthier, their needs changed and now AHOPE’s focus has expanded beyond the basics such as nutrition and medical care, to education and even preparation for adulthood. AHOPE now reports that over twenty children they cared for are now home with their adoptive families and at least twenty more are in process.Also, our adoption agency, Children’s Home Society and Family Services (CHSFS) has a number of on-going projects (http://www.childrenshomeadopt.org/Ethiopia.html) that provide healthcare, housing, education, and other necessities for children and their families. In order to do this good work, these agencies need support and supplies. We are asking family, friends, and co-workers to consider making donations to one or both of these two worthy agencies. Any donation, no matter how small, will make a difference in a child’s life. One generous way of donating would be to sponsor a child at AHOPE for 6 months to a year at $30/month. You can do this individually or as a group effort with others. Sponsoring a child would provide the child with lifesaving antiretroviral (ARV) drugs.
Ways to donate to AHOPE:
• Make a (tax deductible) cash donation to AHOPE through the agency’s secure online donation form at: http://ahopeforchildren.org/ (left side of page, “Direct donation” link). One option is for sponsoring a child at AHOPE.
• Make a (tax deductible) cash donation to AHOPE by making a check out to “AHOPE for children”. You can mail the check directly to us and we will forward it to AHOPE in late May.
• Make a donation of medical or other supplies (see list below). Gina will coordinate picking up donations over the next month, and then will be taking these donated items with her to Ethiopia to deliver directly to AHOPE’s facility (located next to our agency’s facility) in Addis Ababa, Ethiopia.Ways to donate to CHSFS’ projects in Ethiopia:
• Make a (tax deductible) cash donation to CHSFS through the agency’s secure online donation form at: http://www.childrenshomeadopt.org/Ethiopia.html (bottom of page, “Online Secure Donation” link). On the form, be sure to direct your donation to “Other” and then specify in the comments box which Ethiopia project you would like to support (see http://www.childrenshomeadopt.org/Ethiopia.html for the project list)
• Make a (tax deductible) cash donation to CHSFS by making a check payable to “Children's Home Society & Family Services” and designating on the memo portion of the check which specific CHSFS project you would like to support (see http://www.childrenshomeadopt.org/Ethiopia.html for the project list). You can mail the check directly to us and we will forward it to CHSFS in late May.
6/14/08
Old as she was, she still missed her daddy sometimes. ~Gloria Naylor
I do miss my daddy. He is the image of a warm shelter when I need protection from the world. What a great man! I wish he could be here with me everyday. I know I would be a different person if it weren't for him.
5/24/08
If you have some time, view this video by a National Geographic Photographer, Celebrate What's Right:
http://www.celebratetraining.com/
Celebrate what's right with the world.
What's here to celebrate? What are the possibilities?
The adoption journey allows the adoptive family to expand and grow and share their love. It allows those families who may otherwise not have the opportunity to raise children a new and revived hope and excitement. The adoptive family is given the opportunity to be blessed by and learn from another soul in a way that otherwise may not be possible. The adoptive family is able to connect with another family in away that may otherwise may not be possible.
Thursday, July 31, 2008
Wednesday, July 30, 2008
It's in the doing
Travel to Ethiopia appeals to us for many reasons. First and foremost, of course, is the union with our new child.
Additionally, travel to Ethiopia allows us to learn about the country our child comes from. We will learn about the culture, food, people, the land. And the excellent opportunity to meet Tamene's birth mother. Some of our friends or family have asked why we need to travel. People wonder why someone doesn't just bring him to us here in America. Bringing our son home is only the begining of this adoption journey, not the end, especially for Tamene.
- on a side note, I went to a Travel Clinic today to ensure I have premium protections from any possible encounters with bugs, bacterias or other illness causing matter. My doctor today was from Ethiopia, how unexpected was that???? We spent about 30-45 minutes talking about Ethiopia, adoption, our adoption agency, and then about 5 minutes making sure I had all my immunizations. It was great. He taught me some Amharic and told me a lot about the culture and why some children end up in an orphanage. The most important part of this appointment, to me, was the doctor's repeated attempts to ensure I could say Tamene's name correct. I think we are now on pronunciation #3, likely this one is accurate or at least the most accurate that we will get until we meet him. Tah-men-ah or Tah-muh-nuh not that there is a variation in the pronounciation, but that it's hard to figure out the best way to write it phonetically. My poor dad keeps practicing the name, I feel bad to tell him we might still have it wrong. I just want to be clear now, we will expect people to learn to say it correctly (those with accents will be given some leeway).
Back to the exciting event of traveling to Ethiopia - today I talked with my mom about her trip to Turkey and the first time she met my dad's family. She said so many things made sense to her that had not made sense in the previos 20+ years of marriage. Why my dad thought eggs and fresh tomatoes makes a great breakfast, where my dad got his looks, his intelligence, his ability to dance and sing (if you know my dad you will find some humor in that last phrase - I love my dad!!) In any case, my mom feels that our trip to Ethiopia will be priceless in our ability to relate to and understand our son. My mom knows this, she has lived this, I trust that she sees many things in my future that I have not yet imagined.
So, Trent and I will have the great priveldge of expanding our family on this trip. Additionally we will be trying to learn about a new culture and people, in a new place (my one trip to Canada cannot be considered international travel), with new food, and the pressing need to remember EVERYTHING so that we can relay it to our son as he grows and asks questions. WOW! That sounds like a lot to manage... too much to manage. My wild imagination plans for all this as well as any other possible worst case scenario, lost luggage, illness, lost ID, upset or sick child. So Trent and I asked ourselves, how will we manage all of this and still find a way to enjoy this very special time with our son. We decided we needed a helper. Someone who has been close by and knows what I know about Ethiopia, knows what I know, and more, about adoption, knows about health and illness (a medical professional perhaps), someone who can tolerate the new food new, culture, and possible lack of restroom facilities. Someone who knows me well enough to tell me when to pull it together and when to let me lose it. Some one who is willing to spend about 70 hours in airplanes and airports in one week. The list of requirements goes on and on. Many people I know can handle one or two of these aspects, but all of them? Maybe my mom... nope she just had surgry and has zero interest in being on a airplane for 24 flight hours one-way. Maybe Siter-In-Love - no just can't ask her to leave her child that long. Maybe someone in Trent's family - no, they have a lot going on, and it's a lot to ask, just to come take care of me and Trent. Maybe someone is interested, maybe someone has mentioned they would come with - Yes... Soul Sister. She is a nurse, comes from a family who adopted, knows everything I know about this process and Ethiopia (because I make her listen to me ramble on). When we didn't know where we were going or how or when, she said maybe she could come... I need her to come. Imagine the change that Trent and I will experience during this time, how could we do it alone, why would we? We know many other families who take a friend or "guide" or family member.
All of these things are important, very very important and the main reasons we decided to ask Soul Sister to join us on this trip. But in the end I think the most important part will be the witness to the event that she can bring home with us. Since we asked her to travel she has coordinated medicine for travel and helped me to follow up on my packing and other to-do items. She has made sure we have numerous precautions from those bacterias, etc. that I mentioned earlier. She has been excited with me and said with me and she has waiting with me, and I am so glad that Trent and I have asked her to join us.
If a friend is in trouble, don't annoy him by asking if there is anything you can do. Think up something appropriate and do it. ~Edgar Watson Howe
Soul Sister thanks for your interest and willingness to make this journey with us.
Additionally, travel to Ethiopia allows us to learn about the country our child comes from. We will learn about the culture, food, people, the land. And the excellent opportunity to meet Tamene's birth mother. Some of our friends or family have asked why we need to travel. People wonder why someone doesn't just bring him to us here in America. Bringing our son home is only the begining of this adoption journey, not the end, especially for Tamene.
- on a side note, I went to a Travel Clinic today to ensure I have premium protections from any possible encounters with bugs, bacterias or other illness causing matter. My doctor today was from Ethiopia, how unexpected was that???? We spent about 30-45 minutes talking about Ethiopia, adoption, our adoption agency, and then about 5 minutes making sure I had all my immunizations. It was great. He taught me some Amharic and told me a lot about the culture and why some children end up in an orphanage. The most important part of this appointment, to me, was the doctor's repeated attempts to ensure I could say Tamene's name correct. I think we are now on pronunciation #3, likely this one is accurate or at least the most accurate that we will get until we meet him. Tah-men-ah or Tah-muh-nuh not that there is a variation in the pronounciation, but that it's hard to figure out the best way to write it phonetically. My poor dad keeps practicing the name, I feel bad to tell him we might still have it wrong. I just want to be clear now, we will expect people to learn to say it correctly (those with accents will be given some leeway).
Back to the exciting event of traveling to Ethiopia - today I talked with my mom about her trip to Turkey and the first time she met my dad's family. She said so many things made sense to her that had not made sense in the previos 20+ years of marriage. Why my dad thought eggs and fresh tomatoes makes a great breakfast, where my dad got his looks, his intelligence, his ability to dance and sing (if you know my dad you will find some humor in that last phrase - I love my dad!!) In any case, my mom feels that our trip to Ethiopia will be priceless in our ability to relate to and understand our son. My mom knows this, she has lived this, I trust that she sees many things in my future that I have not yet imagined.
So, Trent and I will have the great priveldge of expanding our family on this trip. Additionally we will be trying to learn about a new culture and people, in a new place (my one trip to Canada cannot be considered international travel), with new food, and the pressing need to remember EVERYTHING so that we can relay it to our son as he grows and asks questions. WOW! That sounds like a lot to manage... too much to manage. My wild imagination plans for all this as well as any other possible worst case scenario, lost luggage, illness, lost ID, upset or sick child. So Trent and I asked ourselves, how will we manage all of this and still find a way to enjoy this very special time with our son. We decided we needed a helper. Someone who has been close by and knows what I know about Ethiopia, knows what I know, and more, about adoption, knows about health and illness (a medical professional perhaps), someone who can tolerate the new food new, culture, and possible lack of restroom facilities. Someone who knows me well enough to tell me when to pull it together and when to let me lose it. Some one who is willing to spend about 70 hours in airplanes and airports in one week. The list of requirements goes on and on. Many people I know can handle one or two of these aspects, but all of them? Maybe my mom... nope she just had surgry and has zero interest in being on a airplane for 24 flight hours one-way. Maybe Siter-In-Love - no just can't ask her to leave her child that long. Maybe someone in Trent's family - no, they have a lot going on, and it's a lot to ask, just to come take care of me and Trent. Maybe someone is interested, maybe someone has mentioned they would come with - Yes... Soul Sister. She is a nurse, comes from a family who adopted, knows everything I know about this process and Ethiopia (because I make her listen to me ramble on). When we didn't know where we were going or how or when, she said maybe she could come... I need her to come. Imagine the change that Trent and I will experience during this time, how could we do it alone, why would we? We know many other families who take a friend or "guide" or family member.
All of these things are important, very very important and the main reasons we decided to ask Soul Sister to join us on this trip. But in the end I think the most important part will be the witness to the event that she can bring home with us. Since we asked her to travel she has coordinated medicine for travel and helped me to follow up on my packing and other to-do items. She has made sure we have numerous precautions from those bacterias, etc. that I mentioned earlier. She has been excited with me and said with me and she has waiting with me, and I am so glad that Trent and I have asked her to join us.
If a friend is in trouble, don't annoy him by asking if there is anything you can do. Think up something appropriate and do it. ~Edgar Watson Howe
Soul Sister thanks for your interest and willingness to make this journey with us.
Where were you?
This blog is inspired by a question from another faithful reader of my blog. I know she has said a few prayers for me in my time of need. I appreciate her insight and questions they make me see things from another point of view.
Yesterday she asked what was going on in my life during the time Tamene was born. Computers offer an amazing amount of information about a person. There among my electronic files I found a snapshot of my life in October 2005. A blurry picture, but better than the blank slate that existed before my research.
I looked at my old files to see if I could tell what was going on in my life when Tamene was born. Actually the week or so prior to his birth I spent a week in Chicago for work; then about a week after his birth I was in Vermont. Apparently I was job hunting in the mean time, it appears I was updating my resume pretty frequently during this time. The averageness of what was going on in my day to day life just doesn't do justice for what was going on in the world and how it would affect my future. Had I even a glimpse of the random possibility that I might be here 2 1/2 years later, obviously, I would have stopped to honor this time for Tamene, and his birth mother. Oblivious to a world beyond my own, I was wrapped in a job, and missing my children and husband as I traveled. Tamene was born on a Tuesday.
Monday's child is fair of face. (ANGELISA)
Tuesday's child is full of grace. (TAMENE)
Wednesday's child will fear no foe. (NAVEN)
Thursday's child has far to go.
Friday's child is loving and giving. (ME)
Saturday's child works hard for a living, (TRENT)
But the child who is born on the Sabbath Day
Is bonny and blithe and good and gay.
I read a little about the origin of this poem/rhyme, interesting... that's all just interesting.
Yesterday she asked what was going on in my life during the time Tamene was born. Computers offer an amazing amount of information about a person. There among my electronic files I found a snapshot of my life in October 2005. A blurry picture, but better than the blank slate that existed before my research.
I looked at my old files to see if I could tell what was going on in my life when Tamene was born. Actually the week or so prior to his birth I spent a week in Chicago for work; then about a week after his birth I was in Vermont. Apparently I was job hunting in the mean time, it appears I was updating my resume pretty frequently during this time. The averageness of what was going on in my day to day life just doesn't do justice for what was going on in the world and how it would affect my future. Had I even a glimpse of the random possibility that I might be here 2 1/2 years later, obviously, I would have stopped to honor this time for Tamene, and his birth mother. Oblivious to a world beyond my own, I was wrapped in a job, and missing my children and husband as I traveled. Tamene was born on a Tuesday.
Monday's child is fair of face. (ANGELISA)
Tuesday's child is full of grace. (TAMENE)
Wednesday's child will fear no foe. (NAVEN)
Thursday's child has far to go.
Friday's child is loving and giving. (ME)
Saturday's child works hard for a living, (TRENT)
But the child who is born on the Sabbath Day
Is bonny and blithe and good and gay.
I read a little about the origin of this poem/rhyme, interesting... that's all just interesting.
Tuesday, July 29, 2008
With empty hands
Tonight there was a change that impacted people I love. In protecting privacy there are no identifying details in this story. Thanks for reading and understanding that this blog is a place for me to take an active and moving event in my mind and lie it to rest here for the night.
I went to help. There was a brief moment in time that seems some how frozen. From that moment you recognize someone you love is in need, you want to help. And love, I think, means you want to fix it and make it better. Whatever it is. And you believe, through love, that it is your sole responsibility to fix whatever is wrong and protect those you love.
Love is such a wonderful thing. Loves provides happiness and memories, and faith and hope. But in a moment where you cannot change what is affecting those you love, love brings pain... or allows pain, or requires pain, I am not sure which. There must be a direct correlation between how much you love someone one and how helpless you feel when you cannot protect, when you cannot fix. I saw this tonight.
In my mind there is an ideal world where everything works the way I think it should, I can fix anything, I know everything, and there is no mountain I cannot move. But outside of my "ideal world" there is an encounter with the reality of what a small little being I am in this great big universe. Life is a cycle, full of changes, we do the best we can to prepare, but there are surprises, shocking surprises that leave you feeling lost and confused. No book or research can prepare you for that unanticipated change in the cycle. Without information I feel stripped of who I am, finding a core fear that dwells suppressed by the endless trail of information I feed to that needy monster of fear.
By human nature we want to know why. And by human nature I believe we will find and create those answers in their own time - in the right time. The same series of events that we can create and follow in our mind, bring us to the blessings we receive or the losses we encounter. The blessing in my mind, may be a loss in yours. (for a moment back to the adoption - my blessing is another woman's loss). How can sadness and happiness, comfort and loss be in the same exact moment. A happy ending depends on where you stop the story (quote plagiarized from a Google search - I have had a long night, sincere apologies and gratefulness to the author who penned those words).
When I have nothing to offer, when that suppressed fear finds it's way to the surface, I do not have the answer, I cannot fix the problem, I am not even sure if I understand the question - it is there I have only love. And I offer my willingness to share the sadness and the loss, to carry a portion of the burden, if I can, if I am allowed, so that the burden is not so heavy for the ones I love.
In moments of loss where grief brings the pain we experience today, it is a result of the happiness we once experienced.
Love. Loss or Change. Fear. Reality. Blessings. Relief. An infinite amount of information could exist related to any one of these words, but tonight all captured in one moment.
Even when your hands are empty your heart can be full. Tonight that is all I had to offer.
I went to help. There was a brief moment in time that seems some how frozen. From that moment you recognize someone you love is in need, you want to help. And love, I think, means you want to fix it and make it better. Whatever it is. And you believe, through love, that it is your sole responsibility to fix whatever is wrong and protect those you love.
Love is such a wonderful thing. Loves provides happiness and memories, and faith and hope. But in a moment where you cannot change what is affecting those you love, love brings pain... or allows pain, or requires pain, I am not sure which. There must be a direct correlation between how much you love someone one and how helpless you feel when you cannot protect, when you cannot fix. I saw this tonight.
In my mind there is an ideal world where everything works the way I think it should, I can fix anything, I know everything, and there is no mountain I cannot move. But outside of my "ideal world" there is an encounter with the reality of what a small little being I am in this great big universe. Life is a cycle, full of changes, we do the best we can to prepare, but there are surprises, shocking surprises that leave you feeling lost and confused. No book or research can prepare you for that unanticipated change in the cycle. Without information I feel stripped of who I am, finding a core fear that dwells suppressed by the endless trail of information I feed to that needy monster of fear.
By human nature we want to know why. And by human nature I believe we will find and create those answers in their own time - in the right time. The same series of events that we can create and follow in our mind, bring us to the blessings we receive or the losses we encounter. The blessing in my mind, may be a loss in yours. (for a moment back to the adoption - my blessing is another woman's loss). How can sadness and happiness, comfort and loss be in the same exact moment. A happy ending depends on where you stop the story (quote plagiarized from a Google search - I have had a long night, sincere apologies and gratefulness to the author who penned those words).
When I have nothing to offer, when that suppressed fear finds it's way to the surface, I do not have the answer, I cannot fix the problem, I am not even sure if I understand the question - it is there I have only love. And I offer my willingness to share the sadness and the loss, to carry a portion of the burden, if I can, if I am allowed, so that the burden is not so heavy for the ones I love.
In moments of loss where grief brings the pain we experience today, it is a result of the happiness we once experienced.
Love. Loss or Change. Fear. Reality. Blessings. Relief. An infinite amount of information could exist related to any one of these words, but tonight all captured in one moment.
Even when your hands are empty your heart can be full. Tonight that is all I had to offer.
Monday, July 28, 2008
Due date
I am sure you are wondering how I feel day one post Triathlon experiment. Let's just say it feels a lot like I swam a quarter mile, biked seventeen miles and ran three point one miles. I don't think I need to exaggerate, I feel every last stroke, pedal and step. I feel every last wave, hill and march in every part of my body. Nothing was spared. Experiment results: training for competitive sports will spare you from pain and injury. The funny part is I think I knew this before my experiment. Oh well, now I have first hand proof- see my positive mental attitude at work?
Tonight Soul Sister and I were calculating when we would be traveling to Ethiopia (just to throw it out there we= Trent, me, Soul Sister - more on that later).
The agency says it will be 8-12 weeks from our court date until we travel. Apparently they don't know me very well. I do not have the patience to wait that long. In my world, time just doesn't work that way. Oh, and rules like that also don't apply to me, they just don't. If there is a loop hole in the system, I will find it. I have completely abandoned the idea of waiting contentedly. If you e-mail me I'll send you his picture and you will understand why.
In any case, I have made many references to the parallels between pregnancy and adoption. Soul Sister was kind enough to point one more out, this one I don't like at all. She asks some crazy question about when my kids were born and their due dates... were they on time? "Yes, yes they were on time." Thanks so much for asking that encouraging question. If we have to wait more than 8 weeks, say 10 weeks because that would be considered "on time" in an 8-12 week scenario, I am going to explode. It's Trent's fault he's on time, the kids are on time. Not to say that I am early, I just know how to "work the system" even if I am running late. Angelisa lectured me on my timeliness the other day. Picture this, said by an 8 year-old with as much sweat and sarcastic humor as any 8 year old would have the ability to conjure up, "You know you are not a very good example as a parent?"
Me: I'm not?
Angelisa: Nope (note smile in the voice)
Me: Why do you say that?
Angelisa: Because you tell us to get ready to leave and you just keep typing on the computer.
Me: Is Daddy a better example?
Angelisa: Yes
Me: Why?
Angelisa: Because he puts all of our stuff in the car and makes sure we have everything we need, THEN he tells us to put our shoes on.
Me: That's why Daddy is better than me (note smile in the voice)
Angelisa: [Smiles back]
Me: Fine, lets go.
My point is, the kid is on time like her dad. So is Naven. Do you know how bad I wanted those babies to come out of my belly early. I took the advice of some Google searches and drank tea, and ate strange foods, etc. I was ready to meet my babies. I didn't mind being pregnant, but I hated waiting to meet my babies. I tried to get them out early, I really, really tried. But no! They both came exactly on their due date. Exactly. Thanks Daddy!
So, once again, Soul Sister brings me back to reality. I might, just might have to wait for Tamene to be on time like the others. But maybe my power of the Positive Mental Attitude will get my little boy here in record time. Let's place bets to see who is most in tune with the universe... Trent, Mr. On Time or me Mrs. I Gotta Have it My Way, Right Away (Burger King?)
Tonight Soul Sister and I were calculating when we would be traveling to Ethiopia (just to throw it out there we= Trent, me, Soul Sister - more on that later).
The agency says it will be 8-12 weeks from our court date until we travel. Apparently they don't know me very well. I do not have the patience to wait that long. In my world, time just doesn't work that way. Oh, and rules like that also don't apply to me, they just don't. If there is a loop hole in the system, I will find it. I have completely abandoned the idea of waiting contentedly. If you e-mail me I'll send you his picture and you will understand why.
In any case, I have made many references to the parallels between pregnancy and adoption. Soul Sister was kind enough to point one more out, this one I don't like at all. She asks some crazy question about when my kids were born and their due dates... were they on time? "Yes, yes they were on time." Thanks so much for asking that encouraging question. If we have to wait more than 8 weeks, say 10 weeks because that would be considered "on time" in an 8-12 week scenario, I am going to explode. It's Trent's fault he's on time, the kids are on time. Not to say that I am early, I just know how to "work the system" even if I am running late. Angelisa lectured me on my timeliness the other day. Picture this, said by an 8 year-old with as much sweat and sarcastic humor as any 8 year old would have the ability to conjure up, "You know you are not a very good example as a parent?"
Me: I'm not?
Angelisa: Nope (note smile in the voice)
Me: Why do you say that?
Angelisa: Because you tell us to get ready to leave and you just keep typing on the computer.
Me: Is Daddy a better example?
Angelisa: Yes
Me: Why?
Angelisa: Because he puts all of our stuff in the car and makes sure we have everything we need, THEN he tells us to put our shoes on.
Me: That's why Daddy is better than me (note smile in the voice)
Angelisa: [Smiles back]
Me: Fine, lets go.
My point is, the kid is on time like her dad. So is Naven. Do you know how bad I wanted those babies to come out of my belly early. I took the advice of some Google searches and drank tea, and ate strange foods, etc. I was ready to meet my babies. I didn't mind being pregnant, but I hated waiting to meet my babies. I tried to get them out early, I really, really tried. But no! They both came exactly on their due date. Exactly. Thanks Daddy!
So, once again, Soul Sister brings me back to reality. I might, just might have to wait for Tamene to be on time like the others. But maybe my power of the Positive Mental Attitude will get my little boy here in record time. Let's place bets to see who is most in tune with the universe... Trent, Mr. On Time or me Mrs. I Gotta Have it My Way, Right Away (Burger King?)
Sunday, July 27, 2008
No pain no gain
Thursday, June 26 (one month ago) was the last time I did any real exercise or working out, a forty mile bike ride took place that day. Yes, a couple of brief "open water swim" attempts while taking the kids to the beach and maybe one night a bike/swim. But not training everyday for an hour. It was prior to my last Triathlon on June 1 that I really trained for a race. Just days later I received our referral. Would it be necessary to point out that my focused changed then? Racing in another Triathlon fell way down the list after, figuring out everything I needed to do to prepare to be the mother of a 2 1/2 year old, mother of three, traveling to Ethiopia.
So in the previous couple of weeks people have asked me if I was prepared for this Triathlon. Ummm, nope. Not physically. I finally decided to explain to people that I was doing an experiment, see what happens when you don't train for two months and then run a Triathlon. "Have you worked out lately?" "No, I don't want to upset my experiment." So last night, "carb load" (read - eat as much pasta as you can fit in your belly and still get up and walk away from the table), then a good rest (read - up blogging until 11pm last night) and up at 4:45am to prepare for race day (read - throw together all the requirements to get through a race and spend 10 minutes looking for running shoes).
The event - 1/2 mile swim, 17 mile bike, 3.1 mile run. Lesson learned, if you prepare mentally you can achieve anything! I completed this race in 2 hours and 6 minutes, my last race was completed in 1 hour and 45 minutes. Today's race was longer. Fastest time in my age group in the last tri was 1:09 and the fast time in today's was 1:21. So it was a longer course possibly more difficult I can't account for all the factors. I would say I did pretty close to equally well in time. Oh, but wait... the story isn't over. I came home and took a two hour nap, and right now as I type, I would say I feel like I was run over by a truck. After the last tri - I felt pretty good, ready to go again actually. Today, not so great. I may return to bed after I complete this blog post. I can only imagine what tomorrow will feel like.
If I draw a parallel of lessons to be learned from this triathlon to our adoption process (I have to make the post relevant to the blog right?) I would say this: Prepare physically and mentally. Be hypervigilant about internal and external factors, and in the end success will feel better and be enjoyed more. I know some days I am over the top with some of my adoption preparations; but when I get to Ethiopia and I have every last item I need, no wishing for a bag of peanut covered M&Ms, no wondering if have taking an extra vitamin would have kept me healthy, no concern about running out of diapers or wipes - none of that. No surprises about a little boy who's not interesting having new parents, nor surprised family members responding to our intention to embrace a new culture, nor wondering why our new son is still having nightmares months after we are home. I will be prepared, and hopefully I have done my best to prepare others. You don't just wake up one morning and think you can run a triathlon, either you endure the pain of training before or the pain of racing after. I hope my preparations for this adoption is allowing me to pay my dues in advance so that I can enjoy the outcome of this adoption journey!
So in the previous couple of weeks people have asked me if I was prepared for this Triathlon. Ummm, nope. Not physically. I finally decided to explain to people that I was doing an experiment, see what happens when you don't train for two months and then run a Triathlon. "Have you worked out lately?" "No, I don't want to upset my experiment." So last night, "carb load" (read - eat as much pasta as you can fit in your belly and still get up and walk away from the table), then a good rest (read - up blogging until 11pm last night) and up at 4:45am to prepare for race day (read - throw together all the requirements to get through a race and spend 10 minutes looking for running shoes).
The event - 1/2 mile swim, 17 mile bike, 3.1 mile run. Lesson learned, if you prepare mentally you can achieve anything! I completed this race in 2 hours and 6 minutes, my last race was completed in 1 hour and 45 minutes. Today's race was longer. Fastest time in my age group in the last tri was 1:09 and the fast time in today's was 1:21. So it was a longer course possibly more difficult I can't account for all the factors. I would say I did pretty close to equally well in time. Oh, but wait... the story isn't over. I came home and took a two hour nap, and right now as I type, I would say I feel like I was run over by a truck. After the last tri - I felt pretty good, ready to go again actually. Today, not so great. I may return to bed after I complete this blog post. I can only imagine what tomorrow will feel like.
If I draw a parallel of lessons to be learned from this triathlon to our adoption process (I have to make the post relevant to the blog right?) I would say this: Prepare physically and mentally. Be hypervigilant about internal and external factors, and in the end success will feel better and be enjoyed more. I know some days I am over the top with some of my adoption preparations; but when I get to Ethiopia and I have every last item I need, no wishing for a bag of peanut covered M&Ms, no wondering if have taking an extra vitamin would have kept me healthy, no concern about running out of diapers or wipes - none of that. No surprises about a little boy who's not interesting having new parents, nor surprised family members responding to our intention to embrace a new culture, nor wondering why our new son is still having nightmares months after we are home. I will be prepared, and hopefully I have done my best to prepare others. You don't just wake up one morning and think you can run a triathlon, either you endure the pain of training before or the pain of racing after. I hope my preparations for this adoption is allowing me to pay my dues in advance so that I can enjoy the outcome of this adoption journey!
Saturday, July 26, 2008
Living out loud
*I would like to apologize in advance for any references in this post that might offend. I really want to be able to make my point and this topic is hard to cover without pictures. I want to clarify, I know that skin colors do not come in red, yellow, black, and white. I don't use these references to make light of the issue, in fact the opposite, I am trying to embrace their culture and what is important to them, and how much I love each of them.
Today Trent and I attended a class at our agency. It is a required class for those adopting children over the age of 12 months. While we were there, we ran into a couple from a previous class. I love being part of this adoption community. There are a few things about being adoptive parents that can only be understood by families who are adopting or have adopted. We were able to have lunch together and talk about our journey. It was so nice.
Today the class, and some conversations, reminded me of just how unique and special this journey is. I reflected on the extreme change that is about to happen to my family. Being a mother of three is only the tip of the iceberg for what's about to change in my life and the life of my family. We are about to become a transcultural family. We will be a Turkish-Polish-Swedish-Norwegian-African family (not listed in any particular order, if you were wondering). All of us. We embrace all of those cultures and we are so excited to continue to teach our children about where we come from and what makes us special.
Once a family becomes different, visually different, there are many things that people will be able to tell or assume about our family. Some correct assumptions, some incorrect. Family photos with two light colored children and one dark colored child... likely some one's curiosity will require them to ask why.
One thing I appreciate about my family of origin is the diversity (see comment on previous blogs). When my family gets together it is like a United Nations meeting. We have Native American, Turkish, Greek, Taiwanese, African-American, and now we will add African. We love ALL the little children of the world, red and yellow, black and white - is that song still politically correct? The diversity extends beyond skin color and into colorful pasts, careers, religions, life stories and family dynamics. We know no two people or families are alike, but with my family, sometimes the only similarity is that we have so many differences.
So from my perspective Trent's family has tons of similarities through out the family and extended family. It was one of the first things I noticed when I met his family. They stood out because they all seemed so similar. I definitely appreciate this about his family. The Grandmas are Grandmas, the moms are moms. Not a dynamic changing environment like my own family. I don't want to draw any comparisons to say one is better than the other, that is not the case. They are different in a way that has to be appreciated. For Trent and I these worlds can create a great compliment for us and our needs.
I do have to wonder how his family may experience this change we are about to bless them with. We have made a decision that impacts his family differently than it impacts mine. If my family goes out to dinner (red, yellow, black and white), will anyone even wonder about our new little boy... will anyone walk up and say, "Hey, are you all related?" No, I think mostly people would decide we aren't all related. However, Trent's family will now include black and white. I look forward to the unique journey that this dynamic will create on its own.
Trent and I have decided we are willing to live out loud. We understand that people may approach us and ask questions. We have plans about how to deal with that and how to answer those questions. This is another reason I have this blog, to educate our friends and family about this change. Having this child requires us to be a family living out loud. So much for us all to learn and wonder about.
Today Trent and I attended a class at our agency. It is a required class for those adopting children over the age of 12 months. While we were there, we ran into a couple from a previous class. I love being part of this adoption community. There are a few things about being adoptive parents that can only be understood by families who are adopting or have adopted. We were able to have lunch together and talk about our journey. It was so nice.
Today the class, and some conversations, reminded me of just how unique and special this journey is. I reflected on the extreme change that is about to happen to my family. Being a mother of three is only the tip of the iceberg for what's about to change in my life and the life of my family. We are about to become a transcultural family. We will be a Turkish-Polish-Swedish-Norwegian-African family (not listed in any particular order, if you were wondering). All of us. We embrace all of those cultures and we are so excited to continue to teach our children about where we come from and what makes us special.
Once a family becomes different, visually different, there are many things that people will be able to tell or assume about our family. Some correct assumptions, some incorrect. Family photos with two light colored children and one dark colored child... likely some one's curiosity will require them to ask why.
One thing I appreciate about my family of origin is the diversity (see comment on previous blogs). When my family gets together it is like a United Nations meeting. We have Native American, Turkish, Greek, Taiwanese, African-American, and now we will add African. We love ALL the little children of the world, red and yellow, black and white - is that song still politically correct? The diversity extends beyond skin color and into colorful pasts, careers, religions, life stories and family dynamics. We know no two people or families are alike, but with my family, sometimes the only similarity is that we have so many differences.
So from my perspective Trent's family has tons of similarities through out the family and extended family. It was one of the first things I noticed when I met his family. They stood out because they all seemed so similar. I definitely appreciate this about his family. The Grandmas are Grandmas, the moms are moms. Not a dynamic changing environment like my own family. I don't want to draw any comparisons to say one is better than the other, that is not the case. They are different in a way that has to be appreciated. For Trent and I these worlds can create a great compliment for us and our needs.
I do have to wonder how his family may experience this change we are about to bless them with. We have made a decision that impacts his family differently than it impacts mine. If my family goes out to dinner (red, yellow, black and white), will anyone even wonder about our new little boy... will anyone walk up and say, "Hey, are you all related?" No, I think mostly people would decide we aren't all related. However, Trent's family will now include black and white. I look forward to the unique journey that this dynamic will create on its own.
Trent and I have decided we are willing to live out loud. We understand that people may approach us and ask questions. We have plans about how to deal with that and how to answer those questions. This is another reason I have this blog, to educate our friends and family about this change. Having this child requires us to be a family living out loud. So much for us all to learn and wonder about.
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