This little light of mine

Sometimes our light goes out but is blown into flame by another human being. Each of us owes deepest thanks to those who have rekindled this light. -Albert Schweitzer

A fire requires oxygen, lately I feel like there isn't enough oxygen. I need to keep my head above water; the water of details and ideas and "what has to get done." My oxygen supply is short, but my friends and family, and my village, they have all been there to blow the glowing ember back to flame.

To be clear the lack of oxygen doesn't represent breath and suffocation, but a lack of information. I feel paralyzed without information. I need to know things, I need to have information. I have a nine page document about my son... two and a half years, narrowed down to nine pages. I NEED to know more. I have to pack myself up and get myself half a world a way. The farthest I have been out of the country is Canada, I hardly think that counts as international travel. The process of adoption, nothing any class I have attend nor book I have read had the answers to the questions I have.

Much gratitude and thanks to those providing oxygen. Those who are on the adoption journey, they keep adding oxygen so that the flame doesn't go out. Those who I have talked to who were adopted, those who are a member of a family who adopted, those who are waiting, those who are traveling and those who are home, they have been kind enough to share their stories and offer their support and to them I owe my deepest thanks.

And to those friends and family who help me stay centered in who I am. Thanks to Trent for his willingness to "talk me down" every 5 minutes as needed, for being a true partner in the journey of parenthood and adoption. Thanks to my friend/sister/training partner/partner in crime, for reminding me that things are only as complicated as I make them. Also deepest thanks to her for taking care of me when I need it, being honest with me when I need it, being excited with me when I need it, and bringing me back to center when I need it.

Thanks to all the parents and grandparents for their support and encouragement. Thanks to my work friends and family for their support!

And thanks to my babies! Angelisa and Naven, their excitement and acceptance already of a new little brother inspires me. Their faith and trust in something unseen is amazing. As they make welcoming cards and letters to their new little brother, and talk about the future of our new family of five, I am so proud. These kids have no shortage of oxygen to give me a boost whenever my flame starts to flicker.